Friday Night

     I really wanted to get this out there-- this isn't included in my blog posts for class.

     A piece describing my Friday night consisting of rehearsal and setting up for Popppop's memorial service.

Friday Night

I'm angry.  I'm frustrated.

And I'm upset.

And 5, 6, 7, 8--

I didn't know this man we morn, all these memories are secondhand.

Did you forget the words?  Again- 5, 6, 7, 8--

I'm jealous of the pictures I see-- three large boards with me, with my Mom, smiles, with my Mommom, laughter, with my cousins-- pride.

I know this!  I know I know this!  And 5, 6, 7, 8--

I blamed you for so long.  Every gram of sugar, every cigarette-- now you're no longer here to forget but I'm left to regret.

Take it from the top-- 5, 6, 7, 8--

That precious conversation-- forever on my mind.  That last kiss-- I still feel your stubble on my lips. Smile on!

Run the next number-- and 5, 6, 7, 8.

Who knew the weight of this death-- your absence set in stone.

Who knew what I never saw-- such admiration wafted away with every deadly breath.

Do you not know the dance?  And 5, 6, 7, 8--

I turn my head to find your headshot, on a box.

Ashes.

In this picture you're smiling, so why aren't we?

And a 5, 6-- 5, 6, 7, 8--

Where's a Painting of the Dawn Treader When You Need One

     Crazily, I don't want to go to sleep.  It has been such a rollercoaster (I know, I sound like a broken record), and I should sleep but Imma start a new blog post instead.  I came up with this idea today and I really want to share it with all of you.

     On Friday night, there was a group of us in a conference room at the hospital listening to the Hospice lady and trying to focus.  My family had been at the hospital with Poppop all day, and we were tired and scared and upset and exhausted, among other things.  The room was  plain and a bit messy, and we knew it was bad.  I looked across the table at my cousin Thomasina (I've mentioned her in previous posts-- she got me hooked on Narnia) and texted her, "Where's a painting of the Dawn Treader when you need one", a direct reference to the third book in The Chronicles of Narnia and how Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace get to Narnia.

     Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace are in a room and on the wall hangs a painting of a ship on the ocean.  The water starts to move, and before you know it the water gushes out and fills the room.  And then-- Bam!  They're in the Narnian world and get to go aboard King Caspian's ship, The Dawn Treader-- a better alternative than a boring Aunt's house (like in the book) or a hospital conference room.
     I've written before about how stories can transport us and all, and I would just like to reiterate that point with Narnia.  Here I am, years after reading the book and I haven't seen the third movie in a while, and yet I revert to the hope of a magical painting portal to Narnia when I wish to escape.  Did I say "Hit me up with a wardrobe"?  No, I thought of going through a painting-- and that I find weird.  Maybe it's because I had looked at the paintings that day-- there was one or two with pretty earth/Autumn tones and a handful of beach paintings.  My cousin even texted me the next day about how she wished she could escape into the beach painting.  Art, be it story, paintings, music, helps us escape.

     One of my favourite things about Blue's Clues was when Steve and Blue would, well, "Blue skidoo, we can too!" and they would do the twist and spiral into a painting on the wall.  I loved when they would go to the felt place.  See, in Blue's Clues you went in the painting, in Narnia (our world technically) the painting came to you.  there was even a Humans of New York post about a young girl whose
group won an imagination contest- their story dealing with being stuck in a painting.
     I don't know what I would do if I couldn't escape into stories.  Whenever I'm feeling stressed out and I have to go to bed, leaving a million things to do until later, I put myself in Narnia and deal with matters of the kingdom that I can handle and control and fix and then I fall asleep.  Yes, I act like a little kid because I go to fantasy worlds whenever I feel like, but it makes my life that much better and exciting.
     Yes, no one wants to be in a hospital conference room when it's near the end, but the prospect of going through a painting, that element  of story I could share with my cousin, that made it a bit more bearable.  No, there were no fancy paintings in that conference room, but I had my imagination-- and that's the only portal I need.

I would just like to add that I feel so incredibly blessed to have the family and friends that I have.  Thank you guys for all of your love and support (also here's a shoutout to Mr. Carty's perfectly timed cookie-feast day of thanks).  I am brought to tears when I think of how much love is in my family, and I cannot brag about them enough-- I know we made Poppop proud.  :)

I Wish I Had a Time Machine

     I wish I had a time machine to go back in time and change many things about my Time-Traveller project-- mainly my hair.  Seriously, why was I not wearing a headband or having it, like, symmetrical or looking better than it did?!  Anyway, I watched the video twice.  The first time, I had the sound off because my dad was in the room and I didn't want to hear my own voice.  The second time the volume was really low, but I could hear my voice enough to kind of catch the gist.  I took the following notes (mainly from the silent viewing):
-clothes ew [I am referring to the baggy shirt under the shorter and supposed-to-be flowy shirt combo-- not my best use of stealing my Mom's clothes to use with mine]
-hair what was I thinking
-eyebrows are spot-on [I must have just gotten them done because I'm not going to lie I was pretty pleased]
-stop fidgeting and looking down
-favouring one side of the audience
-taking in a breath should not be that much effort [A couple times during the silent viewing it looked exaggerated]
-eyes looking straight up is a sign of unknowledgeableness [patent is in the works for that word I just made up haha]

Viewing with sound:
-nice lack of Jersey accent on  seventy-two
-was there really a need to exaggerate and sloppily do htose air quotes
-that paper is distracting

     OK, so here we go.
     I find that when I speak, I put on this "Public Speaking Persona", whether that is good or bad depends.  i found that my projection and diction were good, but my body language was more fidgety than I thought it  would be.  My paper was distracting-- I should have been so familiar with my notes I didn't need the paper. It was fine to have in the beginning, but after I used its  information it was just visual noise.
     As far as content goes, I was knowledgeable about jeans but I had a tendency to dance on the edge of going off on tangents (ex. high waisted pants, etc.).  I also am aware of my lack of verbal filter.  I am totally comfortable talking about practically anything-- girl problems, boys, etc., but perhaps a presentation to an audience of 1700s folk (i.e. not the class I know and love) is not the place.  I kept switching between presenting to a group of my friends and a Colonial crowd.  However, it did keep the audience on its toes.
     I was referring to the jeans I was wearing quite a lot, which is what I planned to do, but watching my presentation I see that it caused me to look down *a lot*.  Perhaps I should have kept eye contact with the audience sometimes while I referred to rivets or pocket corners or whatnot.  I also stayed on one side the whole time.  I thought I broke the invisible cage, but I just expanded it a bit.  Overall, however, I think I connected with the audeince and informed them of a snippit of the world of jeans.
     Long story short, while I may be comfortable in front of a crowd I still need some polishing.  My theatre and pageant years have given me a really good base, but I still have room for improvement.  You know, it can be hard playing yourself.  When I'm on stage, I'm allowed to go for "it", meaning y character.  I stand in character, I speak in character, etc.  When I was Miss Magnolia, I was Miss Magnolia-- I had to be a poistively perfect princess in every way because you never know who is watching (I miss it soooooo much). When you give class presentations, you have to be yourself, but a polished and knowledgeable version of yourself.  I wihs we had interviews with the Miss Magnolia Pageant because I think I would have really benefitted from a bit of professional and charm training.  I need to remain conversational and not condescending, while trying to sound-- and look-- informed.
     And for goodness' sake, self, throw a headband on!

Imagine the Imagery!

     For weeks I've wanted to write this post.  Oh, the irony (possibly... or is it just coincidence?) of me writing a blog on the importance of imagery in story when it's that very thing that is giving me problems with my "short" story for my capstone.  I digress...
     I was driving to Youth Worship Team rehearsal one Thursday evening, and I had the radio on.  Zedd ft. Hayley William's "Stay The Night" came on and I started singing at the top of my lungs.  I mean, I really rocked out.  If you can get past the annoying repetitiveness of the song, and listen to the lyrics, it's quite good.  The song is at such a good range for my voice I love jamming out to it.... anyway, I really listened to the one part, "You kill the lights, I'll draw the blinds  Don't dull the sparkle in your eyes".  I wondered why those lyrics stuck out in my mind so.
Don't dull the sparkle in your eyes
I pictured a young couple, so in love, eager and excited, and it's very romantic.  That's the thing-- I pictured it, this moment between two people I've never met.  I found the imagery created in this song, created by simply the word choice (and the melody), to be beautiful, and such a level of imagery is so important in any story.

     I think of the song "Beyond The Sea"-- oh I love that song!  The song mentions how "Beyond the shore, we'll kiss just as before", and I can picture a young sailor arriving to a happy homecoming with his young, beautiful, wife.  (This song is amazing and makes me want to be “Back-in-the-Day” and dancing J)
     Lots of songs put images in our heads, whether it's a specific scene or even how we interpret a certain feeling.  In Katy Perry's Dark Horse, she warns her new lover of the revenge she will bring should he do her wrong.  She'll come at him "like a Dark Horse".  With these lyrics, do you picture a strong warrior woman on a dark horse, or maybe a confident woman with a pistol in her purse approaching an apartment.  Either way, the lyrics of the song (and the melody) helped you picture the feeling of "wanting to seek revenge".
     I had a hard time last year adjusting to the AP essay format because I was used to painting a scene in my introduction for the standardized essays.  I love creating a scene: using words you wouldn't think could describe a setting, personifying everything-- giving my readers a vivid image.
     One thing songs can teach us is how potent words are when creating imagery.  One thing songs do particularly well is transport you to a scene so quickly, almost as if we were watching the scene play out in a movie.  Effective diction is a  must in every story to efficiently create vivid imagery.

I suggest watching this twice, because the first time you'll be like "what the heck interpretive dance?!" and the second time, knowing what's coming, you may find it's a pretty cool dance.

Hayley Williams has such a strong voice!

Women, Downton Abbey, and Power

     I am not on the "Classic Princess Crusade".   I rather like the classic princess, even if there is not much "girl power" to them as we see it today.  The way women are perceived in story have changed a lot over the years, from the "Come-Rescue-me" Snow White, princesses "Waiting for their prince to come", to the take-charge Mulan's.  People have been wanting stronger female characters in story for a while now, and I feel as though it is necessary to show what women can do but it doesn't mean we have to cast off the "classic" princess characters.  There is more to the classic princess than we realize.
     I bet when I mention the female characters of older stories you may picture a misogynistic portrayal of a helpless woman so dependent on a male.  Unfortunately, there are such characters in my beloved Chronicles of Narnia, such as Jill Pole  in The Silver Chair who is confined to a chair during the scene with the serpent while the men do all the work.   (Which is sort of funny because Lewis was so capable of making Lucy a strong character, yet he fell back into a man of his time with Pole.  Hmmm... interesting).  At any rate, my point is this: The classic female character had a lot more weight than we may realize.
      Why would the adorable Phillip with the singing voice that makes you m-e-l-t go fight a DRAGON?!  Sure, he had to save the kingdom but he also had to save the stunning, long-blond-haired, tiny-waisted Aurora.
     Why would Mr. Moseley on Downtown Abbey take it upon himself to stand up to the evil under butler, Thomas?  Because there was a WOMAN there watching the whole thing whom he wanted to "help" and impress.

Elizabeth Taylor.  And corsets.  Corsets are a beautiful thing.
My goodness does she even eat?!?!

     Why did Odysseus want so badly to get home?  Homer doesn't really give us that many details, but Penelope had to be really good looking for Ody to leave all those women he met along the way.

     Notice any connection?
     Please don't be annoyed with me, wanting to throw some "Women have Brains!  Women have brawn!" in my face.  Newsflash-- I'm a woman too, and I have no problem with a man finding me so beautiful he finds the strength to do anything in the world.   Each woman has something to use: for some, it's their minds; for others, it's their hair; and for some, it's the Eliabeth Taylor as Cleopatra figure many of us (myself very much included) dream of.  Hey, let's face it-- guys can be easily persuaded.  I am all for the strong female character, and I think it's good for a female character to be balanced. 

I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to create a female character that is aware of her femininity.  No, really, I have a brain and opinions but I have no shame in going to Home Depot in heels and a skirt so that someone comes up to me and asks if I need help-- because quite frankly, I don't know what I'm doing!
     People have gone out of their way to make strong female characters, and that's fantastic!  But please, when writing, don't forget that we are women, and sometimes a meow does more damage than a roar ;)

Crossing Into Story

     I think I am about a blog ahead of schedule, so I'll take a liberty this week and discuss a video game's importance to story.
     Please enjoy this Lindsey Stirling song, to get you in the gaming mood:

     I must admit I am not as in-the-know about Zelda as I'd like to be, but game I do absolutely LOVE is Animal Crossing.

    Back Story: My Aunt, Sissy, used to babysit me all the time.  She had a Gamecube that my cousins would play (as well as a Nintendo 64-- Mario Cart, anyone?) and one day they got Animal Crossing.  ONE OF THE BEST-EST GAMES EVER!!!  The game has developed and adapted to new systems, such as the Nintendo DS and Wii.  I have Animal Crossing for the Wii, and though I regrettably have not played in years, I enjoy the City section.  For those of you who  don't know about Animal Crossing, it is an amazing game where you create a character, build a house, pay your mortgage so you can keep expanding your house, collect fruit and such to sell to the store owner to get money, buy from the store so it expands, make animal friends and try to keep them in your own, maintain the town, fish, etc.!  It is so amazing-- you can live that simple life you always wanted, and like I heard someone say before, in this world you can have the satisfaction of paying off your loans IN FULL!  (Student loans, am I right??)  Also, there's the occasional money rock, the turnip market, the museum accepting donations, thee coffee shop, money (the currency in this game is "Bells") from shaking the trees, etc.  Your family can create people and move in to our town and you can visit your friend's towns as well.  Also,  the game is in real-time, so daily play is a must if you wish to run a well-groomed and prosperous town!  I love it!
      Where is the tie-in to story here?  Like our required blogs keep us in check with our writing, Animal Crossing keeps us in check with our lives.  It's good training, and helps us dream of a simpler, more debt-free life.  You can even dream up a back story for yourself and embellish the story you create while you're playing the game.  Speaking of stories, I learned from Samm Ragone that there is even an Animal Crossing movie!  I think that one can really be enriched from playing Animal Crossing, just like we are enriched writing these blogs.  For one thing, many stories are either modern-day or medieval, so it would certainly be neat to write an Animal Crossing story because it is a some-what modern setting but so simplistic it makes for an interesting backdrop.  Seeing how the animals interact with each other and with you can help with your character development, and seeing how a small town is "run" (you are not the mayor but you are doing a lot of work) can help you with the structure of your stories.  Is your character the hero?  Is your character the governing figure?  Does your town run smoothly?  Do you feel the small-town dynamic is something you wish to include in your stories?  All good story-building things coming from a FABULOUS video game!
    Well, that was a good stretch (see what I did there?  I stretched the connection.. Oh, you probably got it, you're smart!), I hope you enjoyed this Animal Crossing-themed post and all of its exclamation points!!  :)

The Magic of Stories

     Oh, how I wish tomorrow was a delayed opening.
     During the KYW Newstudies program, "The Magic of Radio" was discussed.  What is "The Magic of Radio"?  Well, it's how you can hear a news report over the radio about a political debate and can picture the sweat rolling down the face of a politician.  It's how you can hear over the radio about a car-crash and can picture in your mind the carnage.  (Not to be morbid.)
     This got me thinking: isn't this the same effect songs like "Shoo Shoo Baby" by The Andrews Sisters or "Pompeii" by Bastille work?  "Shoo Shoo Baby" begins: "You've seen him up and down the avenue/ and now he's wearin' the Navy blue/ she had a tear, in the corner of her eye/ as he said his last goodbye."
     Tell me how your sailor looks.  You can because you were able to picture this heartfelt good-bye by merely hearing its description.
     "The Storytelling Animal" touched on this concept, I think.  Stories, like radio reports and songs (because that's essentially what they are), enable us to picture the scene, even if we merely heard about said scene.  Gottschall said something about stories were sketches that allowed us to fill in the details ourselves.  I really like that analogy; here's why:
     My Mommom and I like "The Faerie Path" series (it was a trilogy until the the author decided to write three more books).  We read the same books, but upon discussion of the books we disagreed on the pronunciation of two of the names.  I appreciate how we were able to come to our own conclusions about the story, even down to the name-pronunciation, because it allowed us to connect to the story on a deeper and more personal level.  We made the characters look like what WE, individually, thought they would look like.  I saw scenes play out in my head and they were probably different from the way Mommom saw them.
     And that's okay.  We're allowed to have differences in how we see stories, that's "The Magic of Stories".   We manipulate stories to fit our needs.  And it's fabulous.  I can guarantee you my vision of the various princes in books like "Ella Enchanted" and
"Beauty Sleep" look different than yours.  Why?  Because I like mine tall, fair, and British, but you may go for the more Prince Caspian-type.  And "The Magic of Stories" allows you to manipulate stories to fit your type of anything.  Aren't you glad you read this, Mr.Carty?
     Perhaps that's why the movies are usually so disappointing, because the director filled in the gaps differently than you did.




     Oh, how convenient, here are some prime examples of hot British men.

Life Is Like Going To The Bookstore

     I recently had a Starbucks date with my cousin, Thomasina.  Thomasina and I have a lot in common, even though she's the first "cousin" and I'm the baby (of our generation of cousins, anyway).  She's introduced me to so many wonderful things and has such a positive impact on my life: she took me to the Celtic Fling to see and meet Enter the Haggis, a band I heard because of Thomasina; she gave me my boxset of Narnia books; she introduced me to Xena the Warrior Princess and sushi and how to use technology and out-of-the-box thinking.
     When I would get gift cards to Barnes & Noble's, we would go together.  First, we'd canvas the store and put any book we even THOUGHT about getting or that looked interesting in a basket.  Then, we'd go to the cafè, get a snack, and sort through our books until we had a pile that met our budget (we tried to, anyway, haha).  We had SO MANY choices in the store, from different genres and styles of writing to music to activity-type things that really weren't much of a book to cool things like an iPod-playing tape deck for the car etc., etc.  Once we narrowed down those choices and began the nitty-gritty sorting, we still had SO MANY choices when it came to what we wanted, what we thought we'd actually read/use and enjoy, and what fit in our budget.  What was overpriced and probably available online and what was a splurge and what story we HAD to have.  And we'd have serious discussions of budgets and giggles over silly things whilst we sipped our Starbcks and made memories.
     During this most recent Starbucks date, we yet again got on the subject of college and the future.  Ugh; it seems that as soon as you hit junior year, no matter WHO is talking to you or WHERE you are or WHAT you are doing, you'll end up talking about college.  I was voicing my dread of student loans; how I need a car but want to make a good investment, not just hastily buy a car; and how I want to be able to afford a nice wedding after college but I'll have all these bills and whatnot..  Where was I going with this?... Oh yeah--  So, I was saying how I don't really even know what I want to do yet.  I have been exposed to so many things over the past four years, so many different areas where I've had to do well if I wanted to earn a good class rank and all, that it's hard to choose what I want to do.  Then, Thomasina said "It's like going to the bookstore!"
     It clicked.  There are so many options available to us, so many careers and schools and dreams within our reach that we can almost taste them all.  However, we don't have to make our major decision right there in front of the vast bookshelf between that hipster to your right and the smelly guy to your left.  We're allowed to grab a hot chocolate and brownie, sit down, talk it out, weigh our options, and breathe while we make decisions.  Heck, we might even go home with two totally different books, neither of which were what we came into Barnes & Noble for, but those two stories may impact us more than we ever thought they could.
     In case I'm getting a little too blurry between my point and the metaphor I'm using to describe it, I'll spell it out.  Life is like going to the bookstore: you get to sample everything at your leisure, you don't have to make any hasty decisions, and it's that half hour of calm decision-making that allows us to make the right decision and follow the right path.  Also, doing your budget over hot chocolate and a brownie is so much better than just wallowing in self-pity.  College is so overwhelming, and so is adulthood, but if we just remember to breathe we can get through it.
     Also, to comply with the requirements of this blog assignment, stories are so important that the stores that house them are comparable with life.   I said comparable with LIFE.


     It's amazing how fun outings with your cousin can be so profound haha!  Also, I love this quote: "Today is the first blank page in a 365 page book, write a good one!"
    Thanks for the insight, Thomasina; I love you!