Friday Night

     I really wanted to get this out there-- this isn't included in my blog posts for class.

     A piece describing my Friday night consisting of rehearsal and setting up for Popppop's memorial service.

Friday Night

I'm angry.  I'm frustrated.

And I'm upset.

And 5, 6, 7, 8--

I didn't know this man we morn, all these memories are secondhand.

Did you forget the words?  Again- 5, 6, 7, 8--

I'm jealous of the pictures I see-- three large boards with me, with my Mom, smiles, with my Mommom, laughter, with my cousins-- pride.

I know this!  I know I know this!  And 5, 6, 7, 8--

I blamed you for so long.  Every gram of sugar, every cigarette-- now you're no longer here to forget but I'm left to regret.

Take it from the top-- 5, 6, 7, 8--

That precious conversation-- forever on my mind.  That last kiss-- I still feel your stubble on my lips. Smile on!

Run the next number-- and 5, 6, 7, 8.

Who knew the weight of this death-- your absence set in stone.

Who knew what I never saw-- such admiration wafted away with every deadly breath.

Do you not know the dance?  And 5, 6, 7, 8--

I turn my head to find your headshot, on a box.

Ashes.

In this picture you're smiling, so why aren't we?

And a 5, 6-- 5, 6, 7, 8--

Where's a Painting of the Dawn Treader When You Need One

     Crazily, I don't want to go to sleep.  It has been such a rollercoaster (I know, I sound like a broken record), and I should sleep but Imma start a new blog post instead.  I came up with this idea today and I really want to share it with all of you.

     On Friday night, there was a group of us in a conference room at the hospital listening to the Hospice lady and trying to focus.  My family had been at the hospital with Poppop all day, and we were tired and scared and upset and exhausted, among other things.  The room was  plain and a bit messy, and we knew it was bad.  I looked across the table at my cousin Thomasina (I've mentioned her in previous posts-- she got me hooked on Narnia) and texted her, "Where's a painting of the Dawn Treader when you need one", a direct reference to the third book in The Chronicles of Narnia and how Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace get to Narnia.

     Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace are in a room and on the wall hangs a painting of a ship on the ocean.  The water starts to move, and before you know it the water gushes out and fills the room.  And then-- Bam!  They're in the Narnian world and get to go aboard King Caspian's ship, The Dawn Treader-- a better alternative than a boring Aunt's house (like in the book) or a hospital conference room.
     I've written before about how stories can transport us and all, and I would just like to reiterate that point with Narnia.  Here I am, years after reading the book and I haven't seen the third movie in a while, and yet I revert to the hope of a magical painting portal to Narnia when I wish to escape.  Did I say "Hit me up with a wardrobe"?  No, I thought of going through a painting-- and that I find weird.  Maybe it's because I had looked at the paintings that day-- there was one or two with pretty earth/Autumn tones and a handful of beach paintings.  My cousin even texted me the next day about how she wished she could escape into the beach painting.  Art, be it story, paintings, music, helps us escape.

     One of my favourite things about Blue's Clues was when Steve and Blue would, well, "Blue skidoo, we can too!" and they would do the twist and spiral into a painting on the wall.  I loved when they would go to the felt place.  See, in Blue's Clues you went in the painting, in Narnia (our world technically) the painting came to you.  there was even a Humans of New York post about a young girl whose
group won an imagination contest- their story dealing with being stuck in a painting.
     I don't know what I would do if I couldn't escape into stories.  Whenever I'm feeling stressed out and I have to go to bed, leaving a million things to do until later, I put myself in Narnia and deal with matters of the kingdom that I can handle and control and fix and then I fall asleep.  Yes, I act like a little kid because I go to fantasy worlds whenever I feel like, but it makes my life that much better and exciting.
     Yes, no one wants to be in a hospital conference room when it's near the end, but the prospect of going through a painting, that element  of story I could share with my cousin, that made it a bit more bearable.  No, there were no fancy paintings in that conference room, but I had my imagination-- and that's the only portal I need.

I would just like to add that I feel so incredibly blessed to have the family and friends that I have.  Thank you guys for all of your love and support (also here's a shoutout to Mr. Carty's perfectly timed cookie-feast day of thanks).  I am brought to tears when I think of how much love is in my family, and I cannot brag about them enough-- I know we made Poppop proud.  :)

I Wish I Had a Time Machine

     I wish I had a time machine to go back in time and change many things about my Time-Traveller project-- mainly my hair.  Seriously, why was I not wearing a headband or having it, like, symmetrical or looking better than it did?!  Anyway, I watched the video twice.  The first time, I had the sound off because my dad was in the room and I didn't want to hear my own voice.  The second time the volume was really low, but I could hear my voice enough to kind of catch the gist.  I took the following notes (mainly from the silent viewing):
-clothes ew [I am referring to the baggy shirt under the shorter and supposed-to-be flowy shirt combo-- not my best use of stealing my Mom's clothes to use with mine]
-hair what was I thinking
-eyebrows are spot-on [I must have just gotten them done because I'm not going to lie I was pretty pleased]
-stop fidgeting and looking down
-favouring one side of the audience
-taking in a breath should not be that much effort [A couple times during the silent viewing it looked exaggerated]
-eyes looking straight up is a sign of unknowledgeableness [patent is in the works for that word I just made up haha]

Viewing with sound:
-nice lack of Jersey accent on  seventy-two
-was there really a need to exaggerate and sloppily do htose air quotes
-that paper is distracting

     OK, so here we go.
     I find that when I speak, I put on this "Public Speaking Persona", whether that is good or bad depends.  i found that my projection and diction were good, but my body language was more fidgety than I thought it  would be.  My paper was distracting-- I should have been so familiar with my notes I didn't need the paper. It was fine to have in the beginning, but after I used its  information it was just visual noise.
     As far as content goes, I was knowledgeable about jeans but I had a tendency to dance on the edge of going off on tangents (ex. high waisted pants, etc.).  I also am aware of my lack of verbal filter.  I am totally comfortable talking about practically anything-- girl problems, boys, etc., but perhaps a presentation to an audience of 1700s folk (i.e. not the class I know and love) is not the place.  I kept switching between presenting to a group of my friends and a Colonial crowd.  However, it did keep the audience on its toes.
     I was referring to the jeans I was wearing quite a lot, which is what I planned to do, but watching my presentation I see that it caused me to look down *a lot*.  Perhaps I should have kept eye contact with the audience sometimes while I referred to rivets or pocket corners or whatnot.  I also stayed on one side the whole time.  I thought I broke the invisible cage, but I just expanded it a bit.  Overall, however, I think I connected with the audeince and informed them of a snippit of the world of jeans.
     Long story short, while I may be comfortable in front of a crowd I still need some polishing.  My theatre and pageant years have given me a really good base, but I still have room for improvement.  You know, it can be hard playing yourself.  When I'm on stage, I'm allowed to go for "it", meaning y character.  I stand in character, I speak in character, etc.  When I was Miss Magnolia, I was Miss Magnolia-- I had to be a poistively perfect princess in every way because you never know who is watching (I miss it soooooo much). When you give class presentations, you have to be yourself, but a polished and knowledgeable version of yourself.  I wihs we had interviews with the Miss Magnolia Pageant because I think I would have really benefitted from a bit of professional and charm training.  I need to remain conversational and not condescending, while trying to sound-- and look-- informed.
     And for goodness' sake, self, throw a headband on!

Imagine the Imagery!

     For weeks I've wanted to write this post.  Oh, the irony (possibly... or is it just coincidence?) of me writing a blog on the importance of imagery in story when it's that very thing that is giving me problems with my "short" story for my capstone.  I digress...
     I was driving to Youth Worship Team rehearsal one Thursday evening, and I had the radio on.  Zedd ft. Hayley William's "Stay The Night" came on and I started singing at the top of my lungs.  I mean, I really rocked out.  If you can get past the annoying repetitiveness of the song, and listen to the lyrics, it's quite good.  The song is at such a good range for my voice I love jamming out to it.... anyway, I really listened to the one part, "You kill the lights, I'll draw the blinds  Don't dull the sparkle in your eyes".  I wondered why those lyrics stuck out in my mind so.
Don't dull the sparkle in your eyes
I pictured a young couple, so in love, eager and excited, and it's very romantic.  That's the thing-- I pictured it, this moment between two people I've never met.  I found the imagery created in this song, created by simply the word choice (and the melody), to be beautiful, and such a level of imagery is so important in any story.

     I think of the song "Beyond The Sea"-- oh I love that song!  The song mentions how "Beyond the shore, we'll kiss just as before", and I can picture a young sailor arriving to a happy homecoming with his young, beautiful, wife.  (This song is amazing and makes me want to be “Back-in-the-Day” and dancing J)
     Lots of songs put images in our heads, whether it's a specific scene or even how we interpret a certain feeling.  In Katy Perry's Dark Horse, she warns her new lover of the revenge she will bring should he do her wrong.  She'll come at him "like a Dark Horse".  With these lyrics, do you picture a strong warrior woman on a dark horse, or maybe a confident woman with a pistol in her purse approaching an apartment.  Either way, the lyrics of the song (and the melody) helped you picture the feeling of "wanting to seek revenge".
     I had a hard time last year adjusting to the AP essay format because I was used to painting a scene in my introduction for the standardized essays.  I love creating a scene: using words you wouldn't think could describe a setting, personifying everything-- giving my readers a vivid image.
     One thing songs can teach us is how potent words are when creating imagery.  One thing songs do particularly well is transport you to a scene so quickly, almost as if we were watching the scene play out in a movie.  Effective diction is a  must in every story to efficiently create vivid imagery.

I suggest watching this twice, because the first time you'll be like "what the heck interpretive dance?!" and the second time, knowing what's coming, you may find it's a pretty cool dance.

Hayley Williams has such a strong voice!